We as Americans hurt our men by making them disconnect from their emotions at a young age in order to uphold a social image. Expecting them to harbor and suppress the very same human feelings we allow women to openly express. Later in life causing many men to explode from pain and act out in some form of violence whether it’s to themselves or others. The documentary The mask you live in, backs this argument. Honestly, this film made me cry like 3 times. I’m happy I didn’t watch in class. It made me feel concerned because the words these men speak and the statistics shown are our reality. To see that woman have to pick through emotionally unstable men to find a good companion is terrifying. I feel protective because I have a son and I don’t want him to experience this lifestyle. I want him to be free. On the flip side, I feel extremely guilty because I too am a slight member in preparing my son for society. Telling him things like you’re okay; shake it off, when he falls. Or when he has a conflict at school, I first ask him if he told the teacher? When he replies no, I ask him: Did you at least hit him back so he knows not to mess with you again. It’s terrible because I’m not a violent person but I expect him to defend himself when I can’t be there to do it for him.
This argument makes me think our boys are doomed. Unless we ALL start to teach boys to be themselves throughout life and that it’s okay to express how they feel as we do girls. It’s explained perfectly what the issue are and many ways to correct them but are we really going to listen? I think not. I think moving forward we won’t be as hard on boys but there is still an image to uphold as a “Man”. The word Man in American culture signifies so many strong qualities such as, being the protector, being physically strong so that no one can push you around, and being brave and never letting someone see how you truly feel in order to not appear week. I believe that not until we start seeing images of more men being emotional while still being respected, things will never change. As a woman, the argument in this film makes me want to change the standard in which I view men. I honestly can’t imagine not crying or being emotional when that’s the way I truly feel. I couldn’t live in an untrue life of not wearing my heart on my sleeve, as we expect our men to do. They too should be allowed to be human. It’s almost as if we want men to be heartless machines but then when they act out and do heartless things because they’re so disconnected from emotions, were all clutching our pearls pointing the finger. Never once taking responsibility for our expectations to begin with.
3 Comments
Francis
4/1/2019 08:42:51 pm
Well said Tiff!!
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Sabatino
4/3/2019 06:42:13 pm
I appreciate the frank conversation in this post. The writing here illustrates an author who is exploring the complexities of wanting to do right by her child are also questioning some of the choices she makes. I wonder how you might pursue this further with in a research project? Perhaps you could enact in an inquiry into how to re-define the word man as part of your parent philosophy.
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Raj
4/4/2019 06:51:55 am
I honestly love reading your writing. Your voice comes through so powerfully even over paper. I agree with everything you said 100%. Something I think you could consider for your research question is how or what young boys and girls learn from their parents, friends, and environment that teaches them to fit into these destructive norms.
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Tiffany swanI will use this blog to express my thoughts, creativity, and lust for life through literature. Archives
May 2019
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